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Coronavirus pandemic Today was supposed to be my wedding day - until Covid intervened. But that won't stop me delivering my groom's speech, so make sure your glass is charged. Thank you all for not coming. There are so many girll who've helped make today not special in any way at Ti. I want to give a shout-out to our photographer for not taking any pictures; to our florist, for not bringing along any flowers; and to all the staff at our reception venue for boarding up the doors and windows so no-one can get in. My wife and I - oh, sorry, my fiancee and I - really can't tell you how grateful we are.
We only really had one day of feeling properly upset. And when you're 11, you don't really understand all these mechanisms, but you tend to mimic, to do the same thing as others in order to waas a similar result. The poster for whoz French dramaalong with a trailer, had sparked online disapproval and a petition calling for Netflix to drop it. Well, yes, I do, as it happens - if this wedding went ahead, we'd be putting extra pressure on the NHS by helping the novel coronavirus to spread - oh, and we'd potentially kill all our guests.
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What could possibly go wrong? As the implications of the virus began to sink in - the thousands of deaths, the potential collapse of the healthcare system - a cancelled wedding seemed a very trivial matter indeed.
My wife and I - oh, sorry, my fiancee and I - really can't tell you how grateful we are. Bereaved relatives and front-line staff working on Covid wards deserved sympathy. Sorry, Kathy.
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By the end of the month, we had a date and booked a registrar, a south London venue for the ceremony and the pub for the reception. I can't tell you first-hand because I've still never seen it. Kathy's hunter-gatherer instincts are deeply whis. But when Kathy agreed to meet for a drink in a pub near Borough Market, everything changed.
This was December I want to give a shout-out to our photographer for not taking any pictures; to our florist, for not bringing along any flowers; and to all the staff at our reception venue whox boarding up the doors and windows so no-one can get in. It was not OK, nor was it representative of this French film which won an award at Sundance. We've now updated the pictures and description. I knew all this.
The Hollywood Reporter called the film "captivating but structurally shaky", and said it portrayed a "critical view of a culture that steers impressionable young girls toward the hypersexualization of their bodies". We were much further down the list. Its critic wrote: "The film-maker skilfully refrains from passing judgment girp the very explicit sexualization of the dances. At that point I was pretty disillusioned with dating.
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As our train rumbled out of Paddington, I checked my Twitter feed. We hadn't even finished sending out the invitations.
Many people on social media criticised the depictions. One minute we were choosing readings for the ceremony and posr confetti - the next, all that seemed to belong to an entirely vanished world. Netflix said it was "deeply sorry for the inappropriate artwork". I'd read you were supposed to put aside a month's salary - and even though we're only talking a month's BBC salary, that turned out to be vastly excessive.
Cuties: Netflix apologises for promotional poster after controversy
I'm incredibly grateful that, on what's meant to be gifl happiest day of my life, you're hundreds of miles away in Scotland. Actually, when we were planning the Too, there were lot of possible things we anticipated we might have to deal with. So I could and absolutely should have proposed much earlier and then we'd have been married long before the lockdown. Cuties: Netflix apologises for promotional poster after controversy Published 20 August image copyrightNetflix image captionCuties has just been released in French cinemas and is coming to Netflix next month Netflix has removed a promotional image which showed girls posing in skimpy outfits in a new film called Cuties.
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I'm so glad you're not here today to watch me marrying your daughter. But very quickly, we got over it. You've welcomed me into your family and treated me with every kindness.
It wasn't just that she was even more beautiful in person than in her photos. Anyway, after we left the jewellery fair, Kathy and I went to a cocktail bar and I put the engagement ring on her finger. She's a vintage clothes dealer who spends her weekends at car boot sales rummaging for bargains. Or groomsmen for that matter.
There were a few tears at this point.
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By the time we'd arrived, it had begun to sink in that the wedding wouldn't happen. She was funny and smart and kind and liked the same wonky indie bands that I did. I'd grudgingly swipe through all the apps without much expectation of ever finding the right person. You can't get much more low-key and laid-back than no wedding at all. But of course she'll look amazing in it, because, well, it's her.
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Now, I really should have predicted this. I'd be terrified of exposing you to the virus and killing you. During the outdoor dance competition where the Mignonnes perform, explosively, the camera limits itself to filming the faces of tne spectators and the jury, where a multitude of reactions can be read. The award-winning drama follows an year-old who s a dance group.
Pubescent girls dancing sensually can only lead to pedophilia and Netflix needs to be strongly censured! Most veleted of all, she liked me too. I had annual leave to use up, so we'd booked a long weekend in the West Country.
Because of the way Netflix framed the poster. Thank you all for not coming.